"...It's just awful. He talks and talks and talks. And if he isn't talking, he's smoking his smelly cigars all over the house. I'm so sick of the smell of cigar smoke I could just roll over and die."
"The cigars are ballast, sweetheart. Sheer ballast. If he didn't have a cigar to hold on to, his feet would leave the ground. We'd never see our Zooey again."
do you ever feel like you’re just sort of
like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that like them back and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care if it was gone
like you just sort of exist but you don’t really mean anything
jean ralphio valjean would be like: “I made my money the old fashioned way. *sings* I stole some silver from a bishop”
I’ve come to the conclusion that Sam and Dean would take one look at Night Vale and burn it to the ground, civilians be damned.
i’ve come to the conclusion sam and dean would drive into night vale and spontaneously combust from being exposed to sexual and racial diversity and women who don’t die within a week
Dad said if this gets 600,000 notes I can get a American Eskimo Puppy like this one
I always wanted a dog. Please he doesn’t think its possible even though the chicken thing happened He has money saved and is more than willing if it happens.
bitch were getting you a puppy ok
I will reblog this post everyday if I have to, no one should go puppy-less
hey friend, you do you. obviously i love you as you are, but if one day you’re like ZETUS LAPETUS I HAVE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS HELLA STRESSFUL THING I AM GOING THROUGH, i will cover your username with my thumb and promise not to peek.
(also i’m gonna be real honest i’ve always had this sneaking suspicion that you’re my old roommate prachi)
lol… no. sorry to disappoint. though considering how much you like mollsanon i will take that as a compliment.